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Grandfather Clocks in Every Pot

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Posted October 4, 2010

While this may sound absurd simply on the face of it, please read on (and then feel free to still think this idea is absurd). Everybody knows the USA economy, not to mention the global economy is in the doldrums, putting it kindly.

Now, and please think out of the box, do you know how peaceful and relaxing having a grandfather clock in your home actually is. We have always hypothesized, and truly believe (and no, FDA, or FTC) we are not making medical claims for grandfather clocks not suggesting that it can treat or cure any disease (thanks to our lawyer for that insertion!).

So, let’s assuming that having a grandfather clock in your home may not only increase your life expectancy, but will also increase the productivity, health, happiness, and even reduce the cost of needed medical help for some in the years to come. There is simply something so naturally soothing about the sound of a grandfather clock. More often than not, it brings families together, is a tradition for many, and would be a great new tradition for some.

Given that we believe the vast majority of the grandfather clocks we sell are of superior heirloom quality, these benefits can be passed down from generation to generation.

If only the platform a grandfather clock in every home had been a cornerstone of the health care overhaul, we might today have a united House and Senate. Then again, perhaps not.

From a jobs creation standpoint, ramping up to produce a grandfather clock for every home, or perhaps a mantle clock, or even mantel clocks, in homes that may not have room for a grandfather clock.

Think of the both the job creation possibilities, and the current understandable anxiety by consumers being reduced by this move.

President Obama, we know you like grandfather clocks, having one in the Oval office and one in your other working White House office, so you must know from where we are coming. Mr. President, just to save you the both the time and fear of a grandfather clocks stimulus and potential rejection on our part, we are prepared if not to take on the new role as Chief Economic Adviser, to minimally be the Chief Adviser for Job Creation, and one which we insist would need to be a cabinet level appointment.

My grandfather clocks and I will be waiting by my phone for your call. Just please do not wait too long to cal. Senator Bonheur we believe is angling for a competing grandfather clocks Bill which will mandate the color of the grandfather clocks to be his spray tan color (let us know where you get it done, as they certainly do a good job) of, according to President Obama, a fellow person of color, but that his color is not one found in nature.

So, get to work, and bring down unemployment, and be sure the grandfather clocks distribution is not handled by FEMA (only a suggestion).

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As Of: 04/18/2024